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» 1st December 2008

More about pregnancy

Assalamu Alaykum,

I was reading an Urdu book titled 'Mithaali Maa' by and was hoping to translate parts of it for this blog but alhamdulillah I managed to find an already translated passage online which is as follows:


Once a woman has confirmed her pregnancy, she should express her gratitude before Allah Ta'ala as this is indeed a great bounty of Allah Ta'ala. This is such a boon that many people beseech Allah Ta'ala throughout their lives for pious children but Allah Ta'ala has destined otherwise. In fact one of the greatest Nabîes of Allah Ta'ala, Hadrat Ibrahim (Alayhis salaam) used to supplicate to Allah Ta'ala most profoundly and frequently. Even Hadrat Zakariyya (Alayhis salaam) used to supplicate for children most passionately and fervently during the latter part of his life.

Hence, a Muslim woman is required to express her gratitude unto Allah Ta'ala for this great bounty. Gratitude may be expressed in the following ways:

1. Recite the following Du'aa very frequently:

Allahummâ Lakal Hamdû Wa Lakash-Shukru

Translation: O Allah! All praises are due to You alone and I express my gratitude unto You alone (for granting me the honour of motherhood)

2. Allocate a fixed time for two Rak'aat of Nafl Salaat. Whilst in Sajdah, make Du'aa abundantly. Recite the following Du'aa as well:

Rabbi Hab Liy Min-Ladunka Zurriyatan-Tayyibah Innaka Sam'iud-Du'aa

Translation: O my Lord! Bless me from your side with pure children. Verily You are all-hearing of the Du'aa.

3. Recite the following Du'aa as well:

Rabbi-j'alniy Muqeema-Salaati wa min Zurriyatiy Rabbanaa wa Taqabbal Du'aa

Translation: O my Lord! Render me as well as my progeny as establishers of Salâh and accept our Du'aas.

4. Similarly, express your gratitude from the heart in such a manner that you stay happy and try to stay happy at all times. Try to forget all your past sorrows. Build your dreams and keep your hopes and spirits high. Ponder over the bounties of Jannat.

Instead of embroiling yourself in the daily disputes with the mother-in-law and sisters-in law and instead of involving yourself with the unbecoming behaviour of your husband, maintain strict silence. On the impending happiness of the birth of your child, maintain a friendly and trouble-free relationship with all. If you do tend to hurt anyone, apologise immediately and try to forget about the dispute. If you continue vexing others, the evil effects of this nature will fall on the unborn child as well. The conditions of the mother during pregnancy, in fact even her spirit and perceptions during this state has a profound effect on the unborn child.

Hence, a Muslim woman should express gratitude at all times especially during the period of her pregnancy. This gratitude should in turn develop in her the love of Allah Ta'ala. She should ponder that since Allah Ta'ala has blessed us with so many bounties, we should also devote ourselves to Him. To disobey such a majestic benefactor – by strutting about veil-less, watching television, videos, backbiting etc. – at any time and especially during pregnancy is not acceptable. Allah Ta'ala showers His bounties upon us and we in turn disobey Him!?

The first month of pregnancy
Remember that you are not a single entity now. Now a child is being nourished within your own body. With a bit of precaution on your part, this child may become healthy, intelligent, understanding, pious and religious. However, with your negligence and indifference, the child may turn out to be weak, sickly and incompetent.

Hence, your life should not be the same as it was before you fell pregnant. Every moment should be passed with caution and concern over the well-being of yourself as well your child. Therefore, pay careful attention to the following points:

1. Be careful with your diet. Chew your food thoroughly before swallowing. Avoid over-eating and abstain from food that can cause constipation.

2. Eat green, fresh vegetables, like salads, cucumbers etc. in abundance. Make sure that they are clean and washed before use.

3. Drink lots of sour-milk and milk. Drink as much milk as your digestive system can handle. Milk is a very blessed form of nutrition. After consuming other types of food, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) would utter:

Allahummâ At'imnâ Khayran-Minhu

Translation: O Allah! Grant us food better than this (in Jannat).

However, milk is of such a blessed nature that there is no food better than milk since after drinking milk Rasûlullâh ? recited the following Du'aa:

Allahummâ Bârik Lanâ Fîhî wa Zidnâ Minhu

Translation: O Allah! Bless us in this and increase it for us.

In other words, whilst drinking milk, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) did not ask for something better (as he did in the case of other foods), because there is no better food than milk. This is why he beseeched Allah Ta'ala for Barkat (blessing) and increase in it.

In short, a pregnant woman should drink lots of milk because Allah Ta'ala has placed the vitamins and proteins required by the human body in milk.

If pure or raw milk is detrimental to you, consume it in other forms like Lassî (curds), sour-milk, custard, Khîr etc. This is beneficial to the mother as well as the child.

4. Abstain from tea, coffee, Pân (betel leaf), oil, Ghee, chillies and oily foods. Besides affecting the digestive system, these foods are detrimental to the muscles and nervous system of the mother and may also affect the child.

5. Ensure that you refrain from all types of medication during pregnancy especially pain-relievers. If you are really desperate, consult a reliable female (or male) doctor explaining your pregnancy and conditions to her. It should not be such that you are prescribed medication that is injurious to pregnant women. Some medication clearly states on the lable that it is not advisable for pregnant women. Hence, if you are really desperate to use some medication, make sure you scrutinize the lable and make thorough investigation before use.

6. In the first three months and the last month, in fact from the seventh month onwards, avoid sexual contact with your husband. This at times, adversely affects the mother and the child.

7. Avoid sleeping late. Try to get at least eight hours of peaceful sleep. This will ensure that your body and mind is well rested. This in turn is beneficial for the child as well and it may simplify delivery of the child.

8. Avoid excessively hard work and picking up very heavy objects as this may lead to a miscarriage. If your cruel mother-in-law or hard-hearted sister-in-law compels you to pick up heavy objects or forces you to carry out some difficult task, then excuse yourself very politely and explain to them that this task is beyond you and that you will pay a labourer to carry out this task.

Insha Allah Ta'ala, determine the well-being, health, robustness and happiness of the new arrival.

» posted by ubuntu on 1st December 2008 - 0 comments

» 19th October 2008

During Pregnancy

Assalamu Alaykum,


A person should not be ashamed of being pregnant or treat it as a big burden, as there are many beautiful virtues and rewards for being pregnant.

During pregnancy one must praise and thank Allah SWT excessively for making them able to have children. There were prophets such as Hadhrat Ibraheem AS and Hadhrat Zakariyyah AS who were making du'aa to Allah for pious children even in their old age.


Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: "The woman that dies in her virginity or during her pregnancy or at the time of birth or thereafter (in nifaas) will attain the rank of a martyr."


During this time, great care and precautions should be taken. During this stage, any physical weaknesses affect the growth of the child. Therefore one must eat healthy and rest a considerable amount.

A pregnant woman must remember at all times that from the moment she fell pregnant til the time she gives birth to the child that child is in her womb and remains a part of her. By the woman taking a little extra care of herself could possibly result in the child being well and healthy or by her slightest carelessness could result in the child being unhealthy.

Educating the child starts when the child is still in the womb of the mother. This is through her thoughts, feelings and the things she hears. Therefore one must stay happy, read the quraan and indulge in good activites, keeping in mind that your actions have an effect on your unborn child.

» posted by ubuntu on 19th October 2008 - 2 comments

» 6th October 2008

Early Stages - Important

Bismihi Ta'aala,

Everyone is mostly aware of the saying that the first school is the mother's lap. This clearly accepted and indicating to the fact the baby is influenced by what the mother influences the child with while still suckling.

The early stages of a baby is the most influencial time. Every baby is born on nature (Islam), then the parents make them Christian or Jew (Al-Hadeeth). The process of parents turning their children into Christians or Jews is not a ritual, a special binding spell or any other physical actions, it is merely the influence of the parents on the child at the early stages. What the baby hears, sees and is told.

The stage of development in a baby is hearing, seeing and then understanding. What they hear and see first is the first step to their upbringing. When a baby is born, the Azhaan is read in their ear (hearing first).

Do we now need to be told how we Muslims are also pushing our children towards Haraam from the early stages?

1: The hearing stage: We play melodious tunes to them from toys. We justify it by telling ourselves that “they’re only a baby” or “they won’t be quiet any other way” or worse, “that’s the only thing that puts them to sleep”

So the last thing before sleep a baby hears is not Allah’s name, not the words of Qur’aan but music. How could this possibly be far from soon using Haraam ingredients in food with the reason “they won’t eat anything else” or is really coz it’s cheaper maybe? One step always leads to a bigger step be it in any direction.

2: The seeing stage. Pictures and animations are Haraam. Yet, we buy baby clothes with nothing but animated objects on them. Does this not influence in any way? We often fault why children are not the same as they used to be when we were small. We were away from Haraam or at least more away from Haraam than now.

Worse is the fact that if we get these clothes, we don’t tell who gives them that it’s Haraam. We pack them up and give it to another unfortunate baby whose parents will use the clothes.

3: The understanding age: When they understand, they copy. Parents sometimes use foul filthy language in front of their children thinking what would they understand anyway? I have personally heard a 3 year old tell his mum to “**** off” when she was asking him to put something away. Who to blame? The TV? Shaytaan? We all know who used the language in order for the children to pick it up.

As a conclusion, do not deem Haraam to be Halaal just because a child is in early stages. In fact, it is more dangerous to indulge a child in Haraam as they will adapt to it.

For the sake of Islam in the future, please protect our children from Haraam.

Wa Maa Tawfeeq Illa Billah

» posted by ubuntu on 6th October 2008 - 0 comments

» 25th September 2008

Infertility

"To Allah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He leaves barren whom He wills. For He is All-Knowledgeable, All-Powerful" (Qur'an 42:49-50)


Assalamu Alaykum

Becoming parents, is a great blessing of Allah SWT,
There are many unfortunate couples who are unable to have children.
As it is mentioned in the Quraanic Ayat above, it is all in Allah's hands...

Below is an extract regarding what methods of infertility treatment is and is not allowed in Islam.
This is taken from an answer on the Q & A section on Muftisays.com



The international Islamic Fiqh academy based in Jeddah (Majma’ al-Fiqh al-Islami) which consists of a number of major scholars from around the globe researched this issue in October 1986, and after extensive research issued the following verdicts (below is the translation of the Arabic text published in the academy’s resolutions):

Resolution No. 16(4-3)
Concerning Test Tube Babies

The Council of the Islamic Fiqh Academy holding its third session, in Amman, Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, From 8 to 13 Safar 1407 H (11 to 16 October 1986), after having reviewed the studies on the subject of “Artificial insemination” and having listened to the experts and physicians, and after investigation, It became evident to the Council that there are seven (7) known methods, used nowadays, for artificial insemination.

Hence, the council decided on the following:

Firstly, the following five (5) methods are all Islamically forbidden and absolutely prohibited for its own sake or due to the consequences manifested in employing them of the lineage being confused and loss of motherhood and other Shari'ah prohibited matters. These methods are:

1) The fertilization taking place between the sperm taken from the husband and the eggs taken from a woman who is not his wife, and then the fertilized ovum being implanted into the womb of his wife.

2) The fertilization taking place between the sperm taken from a man who is not the husband and the eggs taken from the wife, and then the fertilized ovum being implanted into the womb of the wife.

3) The fertilization taking place in-vitro between the sperm and the eggs taken from the spouses, and then the fertilized ovum being implanted into the womb of a volunteer woman (i.e. surrogate motherhood).

4) The fertilization taking place in-vitro between the sperm of a man and eggs of a woman who are both strangers to one another, and then the fertilized ovum being implanted into the womb of another man’s wife.

5) The fertilization taking place in-vitro between the sperm and the eggs taken from the spouses, and then the fertilized ovum is implanted into the womb of the husband’s other wife.

Secondly, there is no problem in resorting to the sixth or seventh method, in case of necessity, provided all required precautions are taken. These two methods are:

6) The sperm of the husband and the eggs of the wife are taken and fertilized in-vitro, and then the fertilized ovum is implanted into the womb of the wife.

7) Artificial insemination, by taking the sperm of the husband and inserting it in the appropriate place of his wife’s womb, for fertilization. (See: Qararat wa tawsiyyat Majma’ al-Fiqh al-Islami, P. 34-35)

Taken from the fatwa of Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam, Leicester, UK.

And Allah SWT knows best

» posted by ubuntu on 25th September 2008 - 0 comments

» 18th September 2008

The Parenting Blog

Introduction to the parenting blog

The muslim children of today are key to tomorrow's Islam
The way they are raised is likely to be the way they live their lives

Assalamu Alaykum,


Parenting

Parenting is not only referred to the process of raising a child physically, It includes many other obligations such as, educating the child, teaching the child good ethics and morals. Raising a child is a very difficult task yet, extremely rewarding. For those of us that have been gifted with children must thank Allah (SWT) for the little blessings.


Purpose of Blog

This blog will Insha Allah comprehend many aspects of parental responsibilities, parenting tips and loads more.

» posted by ubuntu on 18th September 2008 - 0 comments